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November 9, 2016

A Tough Conversation About Trump With Our 6-Year-Old

"How are we going to tell Avi that Trump won,?" Steve said to me this morning.

election 2016.jpg

 

She's heard some of the things Trump's said.

She's listened to us talk about what we value in our house:

  • We always show respect to others
  • We value and embrace others who are different
  • We act when someone's getting bullied
  • You can be anything you want to be, as long as you're good at it and it makes you happy
  • Above all, we are kind

And, we speak our truths with quiet courage and in kind and respectful ways. (Damn. That's a really tough one here.) 

As much as my Papa Bear instinct was kicking in and I was getting in protection mode, I knew the best way to "protect" her (and 4-year-old Noa) was to use this moment as another teaching and coaching moment.  And do it in a way she could hear us and process what we're sharing in a way that wouldn't make her feel fearful.

"Let's rock, paper, scissors," I told Steve jokingly.  So I walked upstairs to Avi's bedroom, gave her a hug and walked downstairs. We then had "the talk" together.

So we told her what we thought and how we felt, in the best age-appropriate (6 going on 12) way we knew how. We also told her the President doesn't affect our day-to-day lives very much and won't change how we act, what we believe or who we are as people. I also said we need to give him a chance to be the President for all, as he's promising.

She was uncharacteristicly quiet. I asked her about how she was feeling about what I just said.

She shrugged her shoulders. I sensed she was processing the discussion. It was a lot for 5 am!

"We'll talk more at dinner, " I said.

It was a start. And I sense just the first of many more difficult and important conversations.

What tough conversations are you avoiding that you need to have?

- David Grossman

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