August 4, 2025
Think of a great leader you’ve worked for and the traits that defined them. Empathy, support, teamwork, and inspiration are likely to top your list.
Now consider a bad leader you’ve worked under. What traits come to mind this time? A lack of empathy, rigidity, micromanagement, and poor self-control are likely among them.
In a nutshell, what you saw from the good leader boils down to emotional intelligence.
The term emotional intelligence was first defined by Peter Salovey and John Mayer, but later gained prominence after the 1995 publication of Emotional Intelligence by author and psychologist Daniel Goleman.
Goleman put emotional intelligence on the map, and his research and subsequent books on the topic have captured the attention of business leaders, educators, and the general public. According to Goleman, the most successful leaders aren’t necessarily those with the highest IQs but instead have a set of characteristics that make up “emotional intelligence” in their management styles. Successful employees also demonstrate these traits.
What is Emotional Intelligence in Leadership?
Emotional intelligence in leadership means leading with both heart and head – combining empathy and self-awareness with strategic focus. It’s the ability to understand your impact, build trust, and create the conditions for performance by navigating people, pressure, and change with authenticity, intention, and care.
Similarly, Goleman says emotionally intelligent leaders possess four main traits: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
“Every businessperson knows a story about a highly skilled executive who was promoted into a leadership position only to fail at the job,” Goleman wrote in his first widely distributed piece about emotional intelligence for the Harvard Business Review. “And they also know a story about someone with solid – but not extraordinary – intellectual abilities and technical skills who was promoted into a similar position and then soared.”
“My research, along with other recent studies, clearly shows that emotional intelligence is the sine qua non of leadership,” Goleman continued. “Without it, a person can have the best training in the world, an incisive, analytical mind, and an endless supply of smart ideas, but he still won’t make a great leader.”
Goleman also emphasized that all of the traits defining emotional intelligence are not necessarily innate; they can be honed and acquired. In other words, everyone can become a more emotionally intelligent leader.
Why is Emotional Intelligence Important in Leadership?
Research on leading with emotional intelligence points to many positive outcomes for employees. For instance, employees with empathetic and supportive leaders tend to feel happier and more excited about their work. There’s less absenteeism, higher productivity and engagement, and overall work satisfaction.
In contrast, workers under leaders with low emotional intelligence tend to feel burnt out, disengaged, and eager to leave for new opportunities.
“The leader with low emotional intelligence is draining the organization in the long-term,” Goleman said in a recent presentation for his latest book, Optimal. “They may get results for the quarter by driving people, by stressing them out, but they’re burning them out, and they’re going to lose good people.”
How Does Emotional Intelligence Impact Leadership Effectiveness?
Emotional intelligence isn’t just a “nice to have” in leadership; it’s a critical driver of effectiveness. Leaders who lead with both heart and head create stronger teams, healthier cultures, and better results. The research is clear: when emotional intelligence is present, everyone – from individuals to entire organizations – performs better.
1. Emotionally Intelligent Leaders Set the Tone for Organizational Success
I often describe the impact of an emotionally intelligent leader in this way: the boss makes the weather.
For instance, an example I often use is this: I used to work for a leader who was known to be moody. I typically would check with his assistant before meeting with him to determine which way the wind was blowing so I could then adapt my style appropriately. All too often, she told me it was cloudy with a chance of showers. On tornado days, she’d suggest rescheduling.
In the workplace, how leaders lead (both what we do and what we say) can prevent weather disasters, and, even better, can create an environment where people do great work and feel terrific about it.
Employees who work with emotionally intelligent leaders tend to feel more engaged and inspired. A leader in a less-than-inspired team might be looking around for someone to blame. But the reality is the buck stops with the leader.
A well-known study by former Yale researcher Sigal Bersade found that a leader’s emotional approach is often contagious for their teams. If the leader is negative or stressed, team members catch that emotion, and their performance declines.
2. Empathetic Leaders Prevent Burnout
Empathy – a major component of emotional intelligence in leadership – is one of the most important traits that employees look for in a leader. In survey after survey, employees say they greatly appreciate “empathy” in a leader. That fact was underscored recently in a manager/employee study we conducted with The Harris Poll that explored employee burnout.
Our study found that more than 75% of employees and 63% of managers report feeling burned out or ambivalent in their current position. Yet for employees who are thriving, the attitude of their manager, as well as their level of empathy, were highly desirable traits. The study also highlighted that employees aren’t just looking for a culture of empathy from their direct managers but from upper management as well.
For the thriving group of employees, the top three contributing factors were:
- A manager invested in the employee’s success (61%)
- A manager demonstrating empathy (57%)
- Approachable senior leadership (53%)
3. Teams Perform Better Overall Under Emotionally Intelligent Leaders
Multiple research studies have also consistently linked overall employee performance to the traits that define high emotional intelligence. A study published in the research journal Frontiers in Psychology found that emotional intelligence is positively related to organizational commitment, culture, job satisfaction, and job performance, and negatively related to job stress.
Another study in the International Journal of Environmental Research in Public Health found similar results, with emotionally intelligent healthcare leaders mitigating burnout rates among their healthcare teams and fostering increased “team empowerment and proactivity.”
The 4 Main Elements Behind Emotional Intelligence in Leadership
According to Goleman, four main elements define emotional intelligence in leadership. These elements are also the traits we commonly see in successful leaders we’ve worked with in our leadership consulting practice.
For me, a big component of emotional intelligence is what I call “leading with heart.” This is about demonstrating empathy, humanity, and authenticity in your leadership.
During the pandemic, many leaders saw the power of this human approach. In the midst of constant change and lots of competing pressures, it’s easy for even the most well-intentioned leaders to fall back on a traditional “get it done” mode. Leaders can fall into a trap of glossing over personal and employee emotions and simply handing down the big decisions, expecting employees to just execute, no questions asked.
Rather, I think it’s essential for leaders to be brave enough to lead with their heart and their head. This means considering the impact of your decisions on others, understanding the emotional needs of your team, and recognizing the power of building positive relationships. In this way, leadership becomes a double whammy of emotional intelligence and a rational mindset.
With that in mind, here’s my take on the four original elements of emotional intelligence:
1. Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is about being able to recognize how your own moods and motivations impact others. It goes back to the concept of the leader making the weather. Recognize that your emotions may go up and down during an hour, during the day, or during the week, even during one conversation.
Just because we’re a leader doesn’t mean we’re immune to the same range of emotions and feelings our teams are going through. The watchword here is “gentle.” How might you be as gentle with yourself as you aspire to be with others?
2. Self-Management
This trait is about thinking before acting, listening a lot more, and being adaptable. Charging ahead with programs or initiatives that team members don’t embrace – or even understand – is a sure way to fail.
Exceptional leaders commit to listening intently to their teams and are open to changes or adjustments when concerns pop up. When employees feel heard, they’ll feel part of an inclusive team that welcomes their unique experiences and allows them to share their perspectives openly.
3. Social Awareness
This trait relates to having clear organizational awareness and empathy for team members. It’s about knowing your audience and their needs, respecting the role of the communications team to also help get a pulse on employee sentiments and taking time to nurture a healthy corporate culture.
4. Relationship Management
Emotionally intelligent leaders care about coaching, motivating, and mentoring their teams. They want employees to feel they have their back and they are looking out for their best interests. Leaders check in with their teams, invite employees to share the good news as well as the challenges, and generally invest in their employees’ development and growth.
Tips for Becoming a More Emotionally Intelligent Leader
Emotional intelligence is a skill. And like any skill, it can be strengthened with practice. Whether you’re just getting started or looking to deepen your impact, these simple but powerful tips can help you lead with greater awareness, empathy, and intention.
1. Lead Yourself First
Leading yourself first is foundational to effective leadership and emotional intelligence. It’s a myth that self-care is selfish. Self-care is about putting ourselves first; doing what’s good for us so we can show up for and be there for others. Taking care of yourself helps you avoid taking out your stress or frustration on others.
A few proven self-care tips for leaders include:
- Get better sleep
- Eat healthy
- Seek fresh air and exercise
- Self-reflect, embrace solitude, or meditation as a regular practice
2. Check in with Your Teams
Often, just knowing that their manager cares about them personally can go a long way toward improving an employee’s overall well-being and engagement at work.
Manager check-ins are one of the most effective ways to communicate with employees on a regular basis, demonstrating that you genuinely care about their well-being both in and outside of work. These check-ins can be open-ended meetings and opportunities for employees to set the agenda rather than have the meeting’s focus dictated by the boss.
Asking simple, open-ended questions during check-ins helps to make it clear that the manager truly cares about employee feedback and employee well-being. Here are some potential questions to ask:
- What’s going well for you outside of work?
- In terms of work, what’s going well and conversely, what are some of your biggest challenges?
- What changes would you like to see to improve the work culture?
- How can I personally help with your challenges as well as the opportunities you’d like to have for growth?
3. Work on Your Communication Skills
Communication is a superpower for emotionally intelligent leaders. Leaders with high emotional intelligence know that working on their communication skills is essential to their jobs.
I titled my first book, You Can’t NOT Communicate, because leaders often make the mistake of thinking they can put off communicating, or don’t recognize that staying silent often backfires. After all, not communicating really is communicating too, and often sends a message to employees that you don’t care enough to listen or hear their input.
While communicating comes more naturally to some leaders, the skill can be learned. With practice and a desire to improve leadership skills, we can all do a better job of communicating.
Often, better communication is the surest path to stronger cultures and more successful organizations. Emotionally intelligent leaders embrace this.
Examples of Emotionally Intelligent Leaders
For my new book (coming soon), I recently interviewed several leaders about the traits they find most important in leadership. Not surprisingly, these leaders all had thoughts on what makes for emotional intelligence in leadership.
Here are just two examples of some of their insights:
Svein Tore Holsether, President and CEO, Yara International
“As a top leader, there is always the risk that you distance yourself too much or that people don’t dare to be honest with you. Yet honest exchanges of opinions are crucial. With the union leaders especially, I can always count on them not sugarcoating it. ... I’m proud that our employees inspired and helped us craft our mission, and I am committed to seeking and acting on their input in every way I can.”
Tom W. Watson, Partner and Chief Executive Officer, Forvis Mazars
“If you want to be a great leader for the long term, you must find some time to separate your personal self from the leadership self. Whether it’s quiet time to reflect, meditation, exercise, or prayer, taking some time to “be off” will make you much more effective when you must “be on” later. ... Another benefit of embracing your personal well-being is that it can set a great example for your team. You cannot expect those you lead to find time to reset or decompress if you don’t do it yourself.”
How The Grossman Group Can Help
The Grossman Group specializes in helping leaders become the best version of themselves. Through our leadership communication training and extensive work with internal communication teams, we help leaders become more emotionally intelligent in everything they do.
We also know that all leaders, no matter how skilled they are, need to keep improving. We can help energize individual leaders, teams of leaders, and communications professionals with a range of common challenges, including:
- Supporting leaders through a cultural transformation so employees know their input and opinions matter
- Helping refine the company strategy so there’s clear alignment from the top and throughout the organization
- Assisting leaders in their communication approach with their teams so they take time to listen better, demonstrate empathy, and enhance the team culture overall
If this is an area where you’d benefit from outside expertise, reach out. We’d love to discuss how we can partner with you as you lead your organization forward.
Final Thoughts on Emotional Intelligence
Leaders need to realize that emotional intelligence is not one thing. Instead, it’s a range of traits and skills that all leaders must continually work on to be effective and in tune with their team’s needs.
I often hear from leaders that they may not be “natural” communicators or they’re not great at the “soft skills” of leadership, as if it’s a closed door. The reality is that emotional intelligence can be worked on, and leaders can significantly improve on being more present and empathetic.
I’ve seen major transformations with leaders who surprise themselves with the strides they’ve made. Importantly, those leaders share how much their work in this area paid off – for them personally, for their employees, and for their organizations as a whole.
What do you see as the most important trait of emotionally intelligent leaders, and what’s its impact on the business when mastered?
—David Grossman
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